INSIDE THE WORLD OF PAIN & PLEASURE: DOMINA DEATH & GISELLA THORN
Photo By Mike Saavedra, Design by Javi Nunez
As of the present day, it is safe to say both of you are prominent figures within the San Diego alt/kink community, actively involved in events, photography, workshops, and performances. Let's start from the beginning...whether it be shibari, BDSM, performance art, or seductive photography, what was your first foray into the world of kink?
My experience in music performance has made me well acquainted with the stage. It was natural for me to bring my passion for BDSM into the spotlight. Honestly, my friend circle is full of burlesque and pole dancers, kinksters, and all-around creative brains and weirdos, so there's usually something fun in the works. I've had an eye for Fetish Photography for as long as I can remember, and modeling has been a fantastic way to claim my power. I was fully introduced to the world of Shibari and BDSM about six years ago and am completely hooked. It requires excellent focus and practice, but it can be euphoric once I'm in the flow.
I made the conscious decision to dive in during COVID-19, educating myself by taking classes and networking online with a Fetlife. I also began immersing myself in documentaries, movies, books, and music. Before that point, I wanted to be a domme since I was too young to know what one was by US standards due to my European & straightforward upbringing as well as my mother being a domme before me. My goal was to be at a certain point where I knew it would fuel a healthy lifestyle. I've been enjoying the amount of self-discovery & growth I can experience simultaneously in this world as in any of my other realms. I mean, it's all personal, but I love to compartmentalize.
Gisella Thorn, Carrie Wilds, and Anna Rose at Modern Wav - Nitzer Ebb 2023 Photo by Chad Kelco
Domina Death at Modern Wav - Nitzer Ebb 2023 Photo by Chad Kelco
What would you say to the unsuspecting Modern Wav attendee who is about to experience one of your performances for the first time?
When it comes to my scenes, they are absolutely directed by me in real-time and very minimally choreographed aside from the flow of things prenegotiated to ensure comfort and consent. There's absolutely a mix of seduction and brutality, yet cheeky, sadistic fun that really takes everybody on a journey. I've developed a formula and structure for my scenes that do feel like they tell a story or have the elements of a song. I have signature moves, yet other elements I like to keep evolving. My last performance I incorporated, jiu jitsu, submission moves which will I do it again? We will see! Either way, expect a fully harmonious dynamic on stage, built on trust and, dare I say, vibes!? Yeah, I said it. Please enjoy, and remember everyone is safe and having a blast.
Enjoy the story and the view. My kink partner and collaborator for Modern Wav, Carrie Wilds, and I carefully construct a scene that takes the viewer on an artistic journey through pleasure and pain, desire and sensuality. It is a beautiful, sometimes brutal, and unique display of intimacy and connection.
Gisella Thorn at Modern Wav - Nitzer Ebb 2023 Photo by Becky DiGiglio
Domina Death and Little Grudge aka Venuz RX at Modern Wav - HEALTH 2023 Photo by Becky DiGiglio
When it comes to this type of performance art, amidst feelings of pain and pleasure, also lie feelings of trust and comfort between domme and sub. Can you talk about the emotional connection that exists while performing, as well as the importance of aftercare post performance?
This is such a crucial question and one of my favorites to answer, and it'll get a bit personal to me and absolutely won’t be what everyone does. First, I will absolutely say the universals, which are very common sense, are R.A.C.K, Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Since I do impact, it is very important that the people I do impact on are fully consenting and enjoying what I'm giving them safely. I'm very thorough with my pre-negotiations, which is where we lay everything out and consent to everything, including our limits. I'm considered a high protocol Domme, not only because I do it as a profession but because that's just the way it should be. Okay, more on connecting with my subs personally. SO! As much as people feel BDSM is inherently sexual, I'm on the part of the spectrum that is not. It is more about power exchange, catharsis, control, and HUMOR. The way I can connect with my subs is through strong platonic humor and by not taking each other so seriously. My style of domination is having a blast while I am making them suffer or feel like a pain slut, just absolute torture. I can play the role of a severe domme and be terrifying, too, but that's going to cost them. In all senses of the phrase, haha. Still safely, of course!
Trust and care are crucial in any domme work. We are the ultimate caregivers. The trust my submissive gives allows the emotional connection to form. It is an ongoing relationship. Aftercare depends on the needs of everyone involved and what we have done during the scene. It can extend into the following week. I always check in the following day to debrief on how everything went and what we want to do more of in the future together.
Carrie Wilds and Gisella Thorn Photo by Mike Saavedra
Bibi, Domina Death, and Little Grudge Photo by Mike Saavedra
There are many contraptions and tools used in your performances. Do each of you happen to have a tool or method of choice?
There will always be an element of rope involved in my performances. It may be more ornate and decorative or used as a direct tool of domination.
My implements include a lot of impact tools and some sensation. I love my heavy chain leashes. I have things as simple as a riding crop or cane. I have a leather paddle that has more bark than bite for warmups and a bamboo paddle with holes that everybody hates, which only makes me love it more, of course! I have a beautiful pair of almost vintage Victor Tella flogs that were gifted to me as my first pair. I ordered a three-foot indoor single tail from him, and he literally passed away right after I received it, so I have one of the last he's ever made. Black with purple accents, of course. When I do get to use it, I have the best time. I also have xenomorph-molded handle floggers made of firebird leather. I have to wear gloves with those because they do a number on my knuckles, but it's worth it. I know how to do florentine, but not much else flog flow-wise besides figure eights, or I can do from behind the neck aiming flogging, which is also pretty subtle, but it still impresses the masses. I also have a 3-foot dragon tail whip, just a run-of-the-mill from the stock room in LA, as well as a mini hand-held dragon tail, but it is from American Ruin in Ventura. I also have a fluffing from Firebird Leather that a good friend sent to me. That sucker is so heavy and thuddy, I almost need two hands to swing it! Maybe I'll put in the work on stage, showing that one off! I also have German pinwheels, they're very pokey and very fun. I also have a zipper, which is clothespins on a string in the shape of an upside-down cross, which I pinch onto the skin and then RIP! It's really fun to have so many weapons of (m)ass destruction.
I am sure you have experienced many different pain tolerances throughout your years. As a domme, how do you correctly and safely determine one's pain threshold?
Informed consent and negotiation are the first steps in any kink scene. Carefully reviewing this information and having clear check-in cues (nonverbal for loud venues) during a scene are necessary. My performance partners are long-term relationships that have grown over time. While I know their needs well, our negotiations are always revisited for every scene.
I have different methods for different environments. Sometimes, I am faced with volunteers at a loud & busy event with expedited crowd play. For this, I have a very condensed prenegotiation and gauging of their experience level. For the pain threshold, I have them give me a number between 1 and 5 after a couple of strikes so I can gain immediate control of my muscle memory for the few minutes I have them for an optimum experience. If I'm in a private session, I can really take my time and have fun with it. It comes naturally to me to read people's body language with their pain noises, twitches, and squirms; there are so many different signals they give with each touch and strike. It's one of the things I love about being so in tune with what I do. That's what makes me a professional. That and I will just stop everything and talk about something if I need to. I'm not afraid to do that, and I don't think it breaks the fourth wall, and I don't think it does anything but make the person feel even safer as well. I've also had submissives that went beyond my own threshold of being able to hit them! It's definitely still a two-way street.
Carrie Wilds and Gisella Thorn Photo by Becky DiGiglio
Let's talk about misconceptions and etiquette. For those who may only know the tip of the kink iceberg, are there any misconceptions you would like to dispel? When watching a kink performance, what would be considered to be proper and respectful etiquette?
I love this question, as I have touched on it before. BDSM is a spectrum. There is no linear way to experience it, and its absolute core value is self-discovery, self-love, and understanding, even processing the trauma from which these decisions may or may not come, just like dating in everyday life. Now that I've said those things in the same instance, BDSM is also not inherently romantic or sexual. My subs are very strong platonic connections, and not just because that's what I thrive on, but because it helps me be a better professional by keeping it that way. It's not to say I don't engage in it in my personal life at all, but being a domme is not my entire personality or my life, and it is for other people, but it doesn't make either of us more or less of it. Everybody just is when they want to, and it is absolutely acceptable in every way. Another big basis for this is processing our shame. Shame is what makes us feel horrible and turns us on at the same time. The excitement of something being taboo, the different realms of role-play or fetish. It's all just so much more open and vast than anyone could ever imagine from the outside looking in. The best way I could describe etiquette is to be open-minded, ask questions instead of assume, and remember that our judgments on things reflect how we feel about ourselves or past experiences. If anyone is doing a scene, we do not address them or touch them unless the place is on freaking fire; even then, just yank the alarm, and they'll get it. Consent is everything, there's an entire video on consent compared to someone wanting a cup of tea, you can find it on youtube and I highly recommend watching it. As far as watching a performance like mine on stage barricaded away from the crowd? The only etiquette I will ask is, please don't boo me, or I'll cry. Thank you!
Every person and kink relationship is unique. Don't make assumptions that "all submissives" or "all dominants" enjoy the same things. We are all individuals with different needs. Your gaze is all I ask for while enjoying a performance. Allow yourself to be present.
Domina Death at Modern Wav - Nitzer Ebb 2023 Photo by Chad Kelco
If there was one song that would best describe and define each of your performances, what would it be?
Gisella Thorn:
OOooh, this is difficult. PJ Harvey's Long Snake Moan. I've been on that entire 90's album for a minute.
Oh man, do I have a list? It's on Spotify, and it's long. But I have a few favorites, including Louisahhh, whom I'm excited to see that Friday; Chaos is the track, of course. Other tracks I've performed to and love are:
Bury Me in Leather by Lucille Croft
Fab Tool by Carpenter Brut
No Miracles by SDH
I am a God by WHIPPED CREAM
In Your Lungs by Street Fever
This shit will fuck you up by Combichrist
Du hast by Rammstein
Army of Me by The Great Discord
Lovesong by Snake River Company
Blood By In this Moment
Domina Death Photo by Mike Saavedra
Gisella Thorn Photo by Mike Saavedra
After experiencing your performance in November, If people would like to educate themselves further on the kink lifestyle and community, what trusted resources would you recommend?
There are a lot of classes on Fetlife nationwide. Club x is local, SD Bad Intentions, SD Femdom Alliance, and a few others. You can go from there if you find any of these on Fetlife. Generally, they all vet each other and go from collective to collective. There are so many message boards on there. I have found some great people through those communities, but one still has to have street smarts online, just as much as in person.
The Rope Collective offers classes and workshops. Shibari Study has some fantastic online resources. Hire a professional domme for a private session!
Don't miss your chance to experience Domina Death and Gisella Thorn live at Modern Wav on November 22nd and 23rd! This event features a steamy lineup, including Tr/st, IAMX, Matte Blvck, Spike Hellis, Louisahhh, Nox Novacula, Void Palace, Die Sexual, and an exciting DJ set by Soft Faith. Click the link below to secure your tickets!
